– Get a dog. You’re single. Buy this food, or it will get fat. So will you. Then you’ll never find a husband.
– You are fat. Buy into our new fad. You are not worthy.
– If you owned this car, you would find yourself basking in the wonder of the wilderness with extremely attractive and well styled friends. You will be socially accepted.
– INSECTS! Single mothers, buy this bug spray. Rebellion serves as further proof that you are failing your children. You need to find a man.
– Buy this car, and your IQ will increase. Along with your ego. If you buy any other car, you are stupid.
– I can’t write about that vampire film.
– Here’s an ad for the television show about to resume. Now we’re just showing off.